Writing from Experience

I’m  working on sending a submission to Horror Tree under the  headline Ghosts on Drugs. A nasty bout of depression which stole my motivation, which meant I missed the deadline for my novel. The computer is a bit of a scary place now, it’s a place where I fail to write my novel. My laptop is fine. It doesn’t judge me. I’ve not taken a lot of drugs…

I’ve not taken a lot of drugs…actually, that’s not quite right. I have not taken many drugs which were not prescribed . For the past three or four years, I have taken medication every day. 150mg Sertraline in the morning and zopiclone to help me sleep. Eating the right amount of food and recovering some form of mental stability has meant I’ve weaned myself off the zopiclone. Oh and let’s not forget the Symbicort and salbutamol for my Asthma.

The dreaded message came with my latest lot of subscriptions Please make an appointment with GP for medication Review. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but it sure as hell hit me like one. Right now I’m avoiding the whole thing until after my driving test.

back to the story, if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time you’ll be aware that I suffer from depression, anxiety alongside an eating disorder.  For my ghosts on drugs submission, I will enter the mind of a protagonist who is struggling with depression.

Should I be writing things that could be potentially triggering? It’s great to promote understanding  but I know it can also send those suffering from similar conditions into a downward spiral. It feels wrong shying away from such issues. I am not writing in any gratuitous way, simply writing from a point of view of a girl who is depressed. The point of view I know best! One thing I can say is that the first line in my story lays out the premise of my story.

By the time I realized I was off my meds I’d already been dead for a week.

 

Today’s word count: 685

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Nope, No Words

 

The heady mix of pilates, therapy and steroids yesterday meant I was too exhausted, both physically and emotionally to write, or do much of anything else for that matter.

Going to the dentist this morning did not improve matters. In the past I’ve been prescribed Diazepam for when I’m getting work done at the dentist. However what with being on a course of steroids for my asthma, my normal dose of Sertraline, and local anaesthetic, I thought adding another drug to the party would be one too many.

I stuck my headphones on closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else entirely. It didn’t work.

I have no idea whether I will be doing any writing tomorrow. I need a bit of time to get back into a routine. On Tuesday, It was my plan to write down how many words I’d written since I started this blog a month ago. Maybe that will happen at the end of this month?

Watch this space…