Today I stuck to my routine! In the morning I sat at my computer and revised the first scene of my novel. Each revision gets a little easier. I did my first reading last Tuesday at writing group. I received really positive feedback. But reading it aloud I found it a little complicated and perhaps convoluted. I threw in a few too many names right away without giving a proper introduction. Thus revision feels clearer and a bit more fun too.
So the first revision was 615ish and this one is 732. It’s actually gone back to the word count of a previous draft but with way more detail and character.
Today’s wordcount: let’s say 851
So I just noticed that the last few blogs I’ve written have been to do with my mental health. I think this means I need to do more than simply writing to do lists.
I can plan to my hearts content but the reality is i’ve got a hell of a lot of events coming up. I’m not sure I have a quiet period til christmas.
Oh Lordy, Christmas! That’s another mountain to climb.
I’m writing this on my phone as my Chromebook has decided to shut down at random intervals. It’s where I tend to do most of my writing. I don’t dare now for fear of losing passages mid-sentance.
Today’s wordcount: 436, mostly the newsletter for work
I’ve been trying to figure out where on earth I am in my novel, at this point there are so many revisions it’s a bit terrifying to delve back in. I think I have somewhat managed to puzzle the versions apart. Now it’s time to un-pick exactly which plot line I am following.
Sticky notes, space and a tsunami of paper led to some vague form of clarity. I am religiously staying to my schedule and as soon as I’d unravelled the mess it was time to take a break and then start something new.
At least now all my notes are in a row and I have a good starting off point for next time. If I’m sticking to my routine, that should be tomorrow!
Today’s Word Count: 350
I now have a couple of months in which to edit my first 10,000 words. Reading back over my previous revisions I realised it was a little dull. The information is there, laid out in a concise effective manner. The world has magical aspects but the wonder of that magic has been lost. Today I spent time re-writing the first paragraph. I went to it with fresh eyes and no pressure.
I absolutely love what I’ve written.
Todays word count: 180
Today feels better than yesterday. I survived social pressures of the dedication service and managed to leave relatively unscathed by well meaning relatives. I find it increasingly difficult to reply to the question how are you. particularly when i am not doing great. I tend to reply with a non-specific, ‘I’m doing ok thanks.’
It’s not a lie and certainly, or at least not a bit one. The only problem is, people want more. I’ve got nothing else to give.
Pressure is listing off me slowly. I’m hoping life will return to some semblance of normality soon. I need rest, time and a lot of space.
I’ve been feeling pretty guilty about not working on my novel or going running. I’ve not been eating as much as I should and it’s been effecting my energy levels badly.
I am trying to stop thinking about the things I have not done and focusing on the things I have done. In started with writing a post about all the items of clothing I have made so far. it was a lot of fun. Tomorrow I will write a small to do list. One which I will complete easily.
Today’s word count: 1200
…am I supposed to keep that a secret?
I have now sent off my Flash Fiction to Writers’ Forum, after changing it to the first person (see yesterday’s post). While I was at it I figured I may as well send the piece off to the Winchester Writers’ Festival Writing Competition. They required a pseudonym. I had a lot of fun thinking of names for myself. I finally settled on Hester Jones. I have somewhat fallen in love with the name Hester. I imagine she is around 5,2″ with lots of freckles, Her hair is mousy brown and it hangs just below her chin. She wears sensible shoes and thick socks. Though she is small she is not meek. I think I will like being Hester Jones.
I Spent today revising my flash fiction down from 900 to 500. The first 200 words were easy. it began to get a little trickier after that. I think I’m happy with the result. I’m not sure if the story is any good, but my husband liked it so that’s something. My main motivation for submitting a piece of writing every month is not necessarily to get myself published, but form more habits and to lose some of the fear of sending off my work. Though winning a competition would be lovely.
After the horrors of dentist yesterday I decided to take today off work. I wrote a to do list and had a very productive morning. My writing went pretty well today. I wrote about 350 words of my flash fiction. Considering the total word count is meant to be 500, I will be doing a fair bit of editing. I’ve got a final scene to write, which shouldn’t take too long.
I also managed to write a bit more of my novel. It’s very exciting as my two protagonists have now met. I’ve altered the plot a little in this chapter. This part of my novel feels more like a first draft than a revision. I’m discovering the world from a different point of view.
Today’s Word Count: 806
This morning I got up, out of bed and sat happily down at my computer. After compulsively changing wording on my previous scene I decided to word with a tried and tested method. I set an alarm for ten minutes and write any old rubbish that vaguely related to the scene.
It worked. I spent about five minutes messing about, but when the alarm went off I irritably turned it off and wrote happily for over an hour.
Today’s word count: 680
Today I wrote the second scene in a chapter. It’s far from perfect but I’m relatively happy with it. I still need to get to know this character a little more to be happy with the writing. I’ve got the substance done now, it’s just the style I want to work on. I find it incredibly difficult to leave a section alone. However I know if I keep trying to edit throughout this draft I will never actually have a completed novel.
That being said, I managed to spend most of the day avoiding writing. I even sent boring work emails and tidied before sitting down at my computer. It was six o’clock by the time I actually began writing. I honestly do not understand why my brain does this to me. I love writing, I hate tidying.
In reality there is a simple explanation.
I feel pressure to write.
Because I feel pressure I will avoid thinking about writing and hope the words will magically appear
Avoidance can only last so long.
The end of the day nears and words I realise the words have not magically appeared.
I feel guilty and tired. I then avoid thinking about my novel some more.
Today I managed to break that cycle by actually writing before it got too late. it feels good to have gotten a little down. It would be a lot easier if I could have done this earlier in the day. It’s pretty exhausted avoiding things all day. It makes my stomach hurt.
I have been a little wobbly over the past couple of days and every little ‘failure’ has felt overwhelming. I did not go into work today. The day in has helped me feel a little more centred and in control. Handily I received my Buddy Box the other day which has lots of lovely helpful bits in it. Also a couple of friends have sent me really lovely messages.
Thanks for reading, it helps me feel less alone.
Today’s Word count: 674