Simultaneously feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Out at a meal today I had the tightening of a dread knot in my stomach, clumsy words and an intense desire to leave the table and never return. I’ve not felt this way in a while. This morning I didn’t find any joy in writing my novel. Uncomfortable and anxious at the epic task ahead of me.
There are a plethora of reasons I could be feeling this way. I will always jump to the worst conclusion; My depression has returned with a vengeance and I will feel this way forever. However, it is far more likely that my busy week has left me feeling just a little run down. Not to mention a dramatic bus ride home in which I hugged a crying little girl as her drunken dad picked a fight.
I’ve avoided practising mindfulness and pilates, two activities that force me to pause in the day. Instead, I’ve been bulldozing through, sidestepping any silence. I have a check list for such scenarios.
- Tell the husband and support network
- Figure out what I’m feeling and why
- Practice self-care
- If things do not improve go to the doctor
- Address pressures and anxieties
- Look at Schedule to make sure I’m not pushing myself too hard.
- practise good sleep hygiene
- Eat regular healthy meals and snacks
- Keep to a consistent routine
- Leave the house at least once a day
- Practice Mindfulness
Word count since the last post: 1209
Today’s word count: 365
The antibiotics are working my chest is getting clearer and writing is getting easier. I’m onto a scene in which the plot and characters are similar if not the same as my previous drafts. Super short post but keeping that wordcount going
Today’s Wordcount: 334
I am once again on antibiotics for a chest infection and steroids for my asthma. This is my morning lot of medication.
However, I have been able to work a fair bit on my novel. I’ve made a little rewards chart for wordcount goal I reach. For the first 2100 words, I get a little reward for every 100 words. including, sharpening new pencils, buying a pack of Veggie Percy Pigs and having a bubble bath with scented candles. After that it’s rewards after every 200 words, then every 300 words. That should get me up to 10,000 words of my revised draft by new years.
As most of my ‘writing’ is editing and making small adjustments I am using
strikethrough instead of deleting so I can count my cutting as writing!
Today’s Wordcount: 618
This week’s word count: 1119
Today I stuck to my routine! In the morning I sat at my computer and revised the first scene of my novel. Each revision gets a little easier. I did my first reading last Tuesday at writing group. I received really positive feedback. But reading it aloud I found it a little complicated and perhaps convoluted. I threw in a few too many names right away without giving a proper introduction. Thus revision feels clearer and a bit more fun too.
So the first revision was 615ish and this one is 732. It’s actually gone back to the word count of a previous draft but with way more detail and character.
Today’s wordcount: let’s say 851
Today is the first in a long time in which I have had nothing planned through the day. Last night I wrote a really strong to do list. the things I was avoiding don’t seem quite so daunting written down. After a bit of a lie in I checked the master list, then wrote a to do today list, picking out the most pressing tasks, ordering a cheque book, paying bills etc.
I also got the chance to sit down for a good couple of hours and revise the opening of my novel. It’s my piece to read aloud for the writing group tomorrow. Super nervous but also excited.
Today’s Wordcount: 830
Back to writing group tonight. The homework this week was to write a ‘hook’. I am supposed to make the reader irresistibly hooked within the first couple of sentences. The tutor told said to make it as shocking as we wanted.
I am being ever so brave and bringing in the first paragraph of my novel. I fiddled with it a bit today and swapped scenes around to have the reader jump straight into the action.
Wish me luck
Today’s Word-count: 142
Again didn’t get a chance to post yesterday. Asthma struck again. In the morning I kept on working on my Novel. I’m hoping one day soon I’ll be able to write a thousand words or so in a sitting like I did in my first draft. I miss that freedom.
Writing group last night was pretty fun. I read out my piece, The Golden Library, and received positive feedback. Although I was told to cut out the adverb effortlessly, which I think might be fair enough. I’ll have to take another look to see how I can get the message across without it.
I also read out a piece I found from a while ago which described having an asthma attack. It made everyone in the group feel short of breath. I’m hoping to write it up today.
Yesterday’s Wordcount: 303
Didn’t get a chance to post yesterday so here it is. I got a few good words down in the morning. Even though each word feels laborious I’m slowly progressing the story.Now my quandary is I have 5 characters in my first chapter. All but one are immediate family and one is unconscious. It doesn’t feel like too much information at once. but is that a big no no? Am I over thinking this?
Now my quandary is I have five characters in my first chapter. All but one are immediate family and one is unconscious. It doesn’t feel like too much information at once. Is that a big no no? Am I over thinking this?
Yesterday’s word count: 245
Despite my best intentions, I ended up editing bits of the first scene. Though I mostly added and only took away a few words so I’m going to say it’s just fine.
This afternoon I started making a circle skirt out of gorgeous satin, then drafted up a post to show off my make, it will appear at some point along the line.
Word count: 191
I managed to scribble down a few more words of my first chapter. Today’s writing involved researching seizures. So much of my research leads me to the NHS website. It’s another work day so I’m happy I got anything down.
My cat has decided I make a fine bed and is demanding a fuss, her paws stretched up to my face. I think it’s time to give into her demands