Two Weeks Into Withdrawal

Between 2.30 and 4.30 a tired anxious lethargy comes upon me. Head buzzing with too many thoughts, acting on any one of those is near impossible. My body, tightly coiled. Do not touch me, do not come close. Shallow quick breaths. Food can help, so can rest if my mind allows. I keep having to … Continue reading Two Weeks Into Withdrawal

Conditions

Today I had to write down all of my conditions and diagnosis.  Dyslexia Anorexia Bulimia  Depression Anxiety Asthma A small list that has defined me for many years. Some are still very much present whereas others I am well into recovery. Depression hasn't caught up with me for over a year and although I still have to … Continue reading Conditions

Pause

It's just a quick one today, I'm exhausted. Since the death of George Floyd and the calls for action I have thrown myself into the Black Lives Matter movement. I really don't want this to come across as feeling sorry for myself or patting myself on the back. Any depression anxiety or frustration I am … Continue reading Pause

Connections

Kind of emotional today as I put a lot of worry and sadness into a piece I'm writing for Dear Damsels. Their current theme is Connection. My not-so-little sister came to mind. I was around fifteen when she was born, we have an amazing relationship. being apart from her is one of the hardest things … Continue reading Connections

I’m Trying

Lordy it's hard to get into routine again. I'm now steroid free and my asthma is pretty well controlled. However, I am also not likely to be dressed before midday. However, yesterday I did a bit of reading from The Emotional Craft of Fiction exploring the ways in which to portray a characters emotions. It … Continue reading I’m Trying

Getting Back Into Routine

I love a routine. there's a predictable sequence of events which leads me to falling out of my patterns. , Sometimes it's caused by Illness, mental or physical, or a major upheaval like the recent renovations to the house. there are innumerable stresses that can shatter my illusion of control. Whatever the cause. the same … Continue reading Getting Back Into Routine

It’s In My Nature

My mood is unpredictable. Extreme lows and hours of lethargy come before obsessive bouts of activity. Its difficult to find balance. Yesterday I began writing a piece for Dear Damsels on the theme nature. The words came in a flurry. laptop on my knees, rain and wind beat at the windows. Dark thoughts colouring each … Continue reading It’s In My Nature

Is It Over Yet?

Christmas time is a beautiful and wonderful thing, from seeing family and friends to chocolate oranges and fairylights strewn across buildings. However it is also draining, physically and mentally. Money worries and family politics. That's not to mention the inevitable illness that comes from doing too much and eating out of a routine. It's a … Continue reading Is It Over Yet?

Mental Health And Self Care

Simultaneously feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Out at a meal today I had the tightening of a dread knot in my stomach, clumsy words and an intense desire to leave the table and never return. I've  not felt this way in a while.  This morning I didn't find any joy in writing my novel. Uncomfortable and anxious at the … Continue reading Mental Health And Self Care