Being An Aunt

Yesterday consisted solely of running around after my niece. She is flipping adorable. We had the best day together. It consisted of throwing food about the place, reading books, going to the park, singing songs, rolling around on the bed,  signing along with Mr Tumble, chasing cats, running around in a circle and two really good snuggly naps. After that, I fell into a bath and had a hell of an early night.

Today I wrote the newsletter for Crafty, It felt easier to write this week, less stressful. I actually managed to complete it within an hour.

Today’s Wordcount: 203

 

Overthinking?

Didn’t get a chance to post yesterday so here it is. I got a few good words down in the morning. Even though each word feels laborious I’m slowly progressing the story.Now my quandary is I have 5 characters in my first chapter. All but one are immediate family and one is unconscious. It doesn’t feel like too much information at once. but is that a big no no? Am I over thinking this?

Now my quandary is I have five characters in my first chapter. All but one are immediate family and one is unconscious. It doesn’t feel like too much information at once. Is that a big no no? Am I over thinking this?

Yesterday’s word count: 245

Things don’t always feel better in the morning.

 

I’m struggling. with writing, with sewing, with socialising. I’m even finding it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve managed to do bits of writing, but it’s the bare minimum.

I feel sad. A heavy, tiring sadness.  The melancholy is punctuated by moments of happiness. Today I saw my niece who spent the first ten minutes smiling at me and nuzzling my head with hers.

The happiness carried an undertone. We were spending the afternoon making decorations for my niece’s dedication on Sunday.  I’m feeling pretty stressed about the day.  I am going to the ceremony, and staying for tea and cakes afterwards.  This will be a stressful event as there will be a lot of people there, most of whom I don’t know.

My sister invited me to a big family meal afterwards.  There will be at least thirty people there, though I have been able to go out for food with friends, a big occasion with so many people and an unfamiliar restaurant will just be too much. I had to say no for my mental health.

It’s really really difficult making these kinds of decisions. I know my sister is disappointed. I’m trying very hard not to feel too bad about myself. The guilt is pretty overwhelming.

That day is also the only time I can see my father-in-law, for his birthday, before he goes on holiday.  I know the morning will be difficult and tiring. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to make it out the house again to see him. I feel like I’ll be betraying my sister if I do anything at all. guilt piled on guilt. I’ve been trying to do couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but couldn’t move from the sofa when I got home.

Guilt piled upon guilt. I’ve been trying to do couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but couldn’t move from the sofa when I got home.

Another small niggle which seems to be triggering my eating disorder issues is skipping out on a run.  I’ve recently felt well enough to start exercising again and have been trying to do Couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but, rather fittingly, couldn’t move from the couch when I got home.

So there’s my post. It’s miserable because  I’m miserable. Here’s to a less miserable week.

Today’s word count: 500

I’m back!

I’ve had a lovely, if utterly exhausting trip to see my husbands family in Wales. it’s the biggest, most anxiety provoking thing I have attempted in over two years. I survived it. I also learned that a lot of family in Wales read my blog. Hi Guys. I will probably natter on about it a bit later in the week, for now however, I am way too tired for any of that.

The internet, essentially, does not exist in Conwy, hence my lack of posts.  However I have been scribbling away in my new Hogwarts notebook.

I was inspired by a gorgeous walks around Bodnant Garden and Conwy Bay. We also frequented many a tea room including a lovely place in Llandudno called The Rabbit Hole.

coffee and cake

The Rabbit Hole Café is a Social Enterprise set up by Aberconwy Mind to provide real work experience and training for people who have experienced or are experiencing mental health issues.  All profits from the cafe are put back into the charity to continue delivering valuable support, training and mentoring for the trainees and volunteers.  The Rabbit Hole places social value at the heart of how it works and believes that public services should be delivered in a way that provides maximum benefit to the local community. The project will provide other community based services therefore enabling it to be socially inclusive whilst offering innovative and inspirational activities to the wider community.

 

Over the past few days I managed to scribble down about 500 words so all in all my word count is 750