A Winter Morning

The Morning after my brother’s wedding I awoke to a picturesque snowy morning. Here’s a short piece of observational writing I jotted down.

Through a misted window I watch two greyhounds lollop about. One rolls on his back, biting at great chunks of disturbed snow. A boy, wrapped in a blue snowsuit, watches his dad roll a boulder of white. Mittened hands lift high to pat the snowman’s body. A blast of snow obscures the scene and I return to packing my bags. There’s been much furore about getting home. My sister left early in the morning but the snow had already made its claim on the roads. Two hours later she’s stuck less than fifteen miles from us. I’ve kept my exhilaration secret, solemn-faced and serious words. Soon, when the opportunity strikes I will lollop alongside the dogs.

A phone call brings me downstairs to the main cottage. I pass an ancient walnut tree, last night it was alight, soft glowing bulbs spread across its empty branches. white laid thick on its roots. Benches scattered about, snow cushions a hands width thick. Earmuffs dull all sound and a wide hood restricts my view. I step in old footprints, being filled with new flurries. The snowman is almost built, the boy held in his dad’s arms. Sitting outside the main cottage, drenched and snow melting on his noes a chocolate lab stares out at the scene. I pat him on the head with gloved hands, the smell of wet dog ripe.

The cottage kitchen is perfection, with fresh tea and chocolate brownies. Mum joins me, then my stepdad, a promise of playing in the snow tempts my little sister downstairs. As I sip on tea a fellow wedding guest runs through the kitchen and arms spread wide spins in the swirling snow. Her husband follows scooping up a snowball. My feet itch. The dogs circle the two, catching snowballs midair and half knocking down the two with excitement. When they return, it’s with rose-red cheeks and impish grins.

After several trips to different rooms and the conclusion our ancient Toyota Yaris was not fit to traverse the snow it was decided tom and I would travel home with my parents. Car packed and the room emptied at long last Emily descended from her room and we ventured into the snow. Leaving the trodden path I jumped into the fresh snow with both feet. The crunch blissful. Mum was the first to throw a snowball, right at my back. I aimed one back as she hid beneath a fur-lined hood. The snow continued to fall as if it always would. We played for as long as the cold would allow.

Breakfast was called and we ate full English breakfasts listening to the scrape of spades on stone. Paths and plans were formed. Blankets handed out alongside wedding centrepieces. Cars were pushed and then towed by the farmer’s range rover. We waved goodbye to our snow-laden car, Tom and I warm and safe in my parents X-Trail.

 

Thanks for reading, I’ve been busy writing my novel recently. My aim is to get to get the first 10,000 words revised by the end of March. I’m currently at 5,300. I will hopefully be updating my word count more regularly now the chaos of Christmas and various health scares are out of the way.

 

 

 

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A Wedding Reading

I had the pleasure of attending my brothers wedding a the weekend. It was a wonderful event. An intimate affair, only forty or so guests for the main event. I was asked to do a reading. A reading I was asked to write! after much faffing, many terrible cliched lines and a minor existential crisis I came up with something I was happy with. Thankfully so were the happy couple.

Love isn’t what you see in rom-coms.
Grand gestures and extravagant gifts
Love isn’t what you see in sitcoms.
Bickering, endless competition.
No fairy tale no ball and no chain.

A marriage, a partnership,
Unique as each individual.
Andrew, ardent, thoughtful, generous
Lana, talented, determined and kind
Love, Partnership, marriage
Can not be reduced to a sentence
Nor explained in a lengthy reading.

But that’s what I’m here for
So I’ll give it a go
Love, the squeeze of a hand
When anxiety spikes
A jacket sacrificed
On a long winters walk
The crook of his shoulder
Where your head fits just right
Cold toes seeking comfort
Warmed on shins late at night

When life shatters out of control
Love is shelter, a constant, a home
Strong as diamonds and soft as down
Love endures not despite the troubles
But because you face them together

I’ve written a little observational/biographical piece for the morning after when we were all but snowed in. I’ll be posting that soon.

Today’s Word Count: 561

Easy does it

Today was a little calmer. I’m still without my laptop and it’s more than a little infuriating. My mum’s very kindly loaned me some money and I ordered a shiney new laptop a couple hours ago. 

Today I wrote a little post about a quilt I made for my niece’s second birthday. Actual numbers are less than accurate as the mobile app does not display a wordcount. 

Today’s approximate wordcount: 308

Being An Aunt

Yesterday consisted solely of running around after my niece. She is flipping adorable. We had the best day together. It consisted of throwing food about the place, reading books, going to the park, singing songs, rolling around on the bed,  signing along with Mr Tumble, chasing cats, running around in a circle and two really good snuggly naps. After that, I fell into a bath and had a hell of an early night.

Today I wrote the newsletter for Crafty, It felt easier to write this week, less stressful. I actually managed to complete it within an hour.

Today’s Wordcount: 203

 

Overthinking?

Didn’t get a chance to post yesterday so here it is. I got a few good words down in the morning. Even though each word feels laborious I’m slowly progressing the story.Now my quandary is I have 5 characters in my first chapter. All but one are immediate family and one is unconscious. It doesn’t feel like too much information at once. but is that a big no no? Am I over thinking this?

Now my quandary is I have five characters in my first chapter. All but one are immediate family and one is unconscious. It doesn’t feel like too much information at once. Is that a big no no? Am I over thinking this?

Yesterday’s word count: 245

Things don’t always feel better in the morning.

 

I’m struggling. with writing, with sewing, with socialising. I’m even finding it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve managed to do bits of writing, but it’s the bare minimum.

I feel sad. A heavy, tiring sadness.  The melancholy is punctuated by moments of happiness. Today I saw my niece who spent the first ten minutes smiling at me and nuzzling my head with hers.

The happiness carried an undertone. We were spending the afternoon making decorations for my niece’s dedication on Sunday.  I’m feeling pretty stressed about the day.  I am going to the ceremony, and staying for tea and cakes afterwards.  This will be a stressful event as there will be a lot of people there, most of whom I don’t know.

My sister invited me to a big family meal afterwards.  There will be at least thirty people there, though I have been able to go out for food with friends, a big occasion with so many people and an unfamiliar restaurant will just be too much. I had to say no for my mental health.

It’s really really difficult making these kinds of decisions. I know my sister is disappointed. I’m trying very hard not to feel too bad about myself. The guilt is pretty overwhelming.

That day is also the only time I can see my father-in-law, for his birthday, before he goes on holiday.  I know the morning will be difficult and tiring. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to make it out the house again to see him. I feel like I’ll be betraying my sister if I do anything at all. guilt piled on guilt. I’ve been trying to do couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but couldn’t move from the sofa when I got home.

Guilt piled upon guilt. I’ve been trying to do couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but couldn’t move from the sofa when I got home.

Another small niggle which seems to be triggering my eating disorder issues is skipping out on a run.  I’ve recently felt well enough to start exercising again and have been trying to do Couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but, rather fittingly, couldn’t move from the couch when I got home.

So there’s my post. It’s miserable because  I’m miserable. Here’s to a less miserable week.

Today’s word count: 500

I’m back!

I’ve had a lovely, if utterly exhausting trip to see my husbands family in Wales. it’s the biggest, most anxiety provoking thing I have attempted in over two years. I survived it. I also learned that a lot of family in Wales read my blog. Hi Guys. I will probably natter on about it a bit later in the week, for now however, I am way too tired for any of that.

The internet, essentially, does not exist in Conwy, hence my lack of posts.  However I have been scribbling away in my new Hogwarts notebook.

I was inspired by a gorgeous walks around Bodnant Garden and Conwy Bay. We also frequented many a tea room including a lovely place in Llandudno called The Rabbit Hole.

coffee and cake

The Rabbit Hole Café is a Social Enterprise set up by Aberconwy Mind to provide real work experience and training for people who have experienced or are experiencing mental health issues.  All profits from the cafe are put back into the charity to continue delivering valuable support, training and mentoring for the trainees and volunteers.  The Rabbit Hole places social value at the heart of how it works and believes that public services should be delivered in a way that provides maximum benefit to the local community. The project will provide other community based services therefore enabling it to be socially inclusive whilst offering innovative and inspirational activities to the wider community.

 

Over the past few days I managed to scribble down about 500 words so all in all my word count is 750