Things Are Just A Little Bit More Difficult

My husband has been ill with an undiagnosed stomach issue for coming up to two years now. We have seen many doctors and had umpteen tests. none of which have been able to shed any light on what is actually making him ill.

The most frustrating aspect of this illness is the unpredictability. it is almost impossible to plan things because we have no idea whether he will be well enough to leave the house. This is, unsurprisingly making him feel low.

It turns out I am pretty dreadful at coping with other people’s emotions. I find it incredibly difficult to negotiate my anxiety and depression when I feel like I should be caring for my husband. This week I hid within myself. Keeping busy until there’s no energy to keep going. My Novel seemed like a colossal mountain and even five minutes of mindfulness was almost unbearable because of the barrage of negative thoughts.

Things are a little better now. We’ve spoken and decided to have an action plan for keeping positive and motivated even when he has no energy.  I did manage to work on my novel this morning and sorted out a bit of dialogue which was bugging me. The first Three scenes are now completed and I’m over halfway through the fourth.

Today’s Wordcount: 519

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A Cautious Admittance 

So I just noticed that the last few blogs I’ve written have been to do with my mental health. I think this means I need to do more than simply writing to do lists.

I can plan to my hearts content but the reality is i’ve got a hell of a lot of events coming up. I’m not sure I have a quiet period til christmas.

Oh Lordy, Christmas! That’s another mountain to climb. 

I’m writing this on my phone as my Chromebook has decided to shut down at random intervals. It’s where I tend to do most of my writing. I don’t dare now for fear of losing passages mid-sentance. 

Today’s wordcount: 436, mostly the newsletter for work

No new words but new glasses!

After an emotionally exhausting morning and a quick lunch, I dashed off into town to get new glasses! Also an eye test and a contact lens check up which was well over due.  I ended up spending a long time in town and came home. I am now both emotional and physically exhausted but with a fancy new pair of spectacles.

This post is the sum total of my words today.