Hi there, I’m bi, or pan, or both? To be perfectly honest I’m still struggling to differentiate the two. I find myself looking up the difference every couple of months just to make sure. There seems to be a bit of confusion around the Bi in Bisexuality, some thinking it stands two genders and excludes gender fluid and non-binary folx. Yet the official and generally accepted version is being attracted to one or more sex. This is the best explanation I’ve seen so far:
Bisexual means attracted to multiple genders, and pansexual means attracted to all genders. These are different because “multiple” isn’t the same thing as “all.”
Let’s say you ask your friends what their favorite colors are.
One friend might say, “Actually, I like more than one color!” Another friend might say, “I like all colors.”
Now, the first friend might like all colors, but they might not. They might not like khaki or beige. Perhaps they like pastels but not dark colors.
This is because “all colors” is, by definition, more than one. However, “more than one” isn’t technically all.
Some people feel that pansexual falls into the category of bisexual because bisexual is a broad term that means more than one — but it isn’t the same thing, because “all” isn’t the same as “multiple.”Sian Ferguson ‘Is Being Bisexual the Same Thing as Being Pansexual?’ Healthline
I am attracted to men, women and non-binary folx. And when I say men and women I am including trans men and women. Yes J.K. Rowling Trans Women are Women. If you want to learn more about Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERFS) and the obvious harm they are doing then check out Judith Butler’s interview in The New Statesman.
For a long time I have wondered how to best be a part of the LGBTQ+ community. It’s always felt out of reach, especially now I am married to a kind, beautiful and supportive man. To all the world I ‘pass’ as straight. I am learning that my partner does not define my sexuality. I am learning about Bi erasure. I am learning so much more about myself and want to talk to others who have similar experiences. I do not feel comfortable sharing my own Bi-story on this blog yet, emotions are running raw as I’m less than a month into reducing my sertraline, not to mention the ongoing existential dread which we are all living through.
Thanks for reading folx, stay safe if you can
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