Today I learned to slow down and ask permission.
I have not gone back to normal. I am educating myself everyday on issues surrounding the Black Lives Matter movement researching more black businesses to buy from and donating to causes when I can. My online profile doesn’t necessarily reflect this.
There have been so many helpful posts on instagram that could be valuable to my social circles, I’ve been unsure of sharing because I don’t want my voice to drown out the creators voice or the work to be misconstrued as my own. I know there is a solution. Ask for permission. Maybe it is social anxiety or the fear of being rejected but everytime I go to ask whether I can share my brain freezes, I doubt if my voice can even make a difference or worry I am Just virtue signalling? The end result is a barren instagram feed with some tentatively posted pretty dresses. It’s a something I will work on. For now I have reposted from those who have given express permission in the comments.
Last post I wrote about setting up rewards for writing. I am pleased with the result. The majority are free, run an indulgent bubble bath, make some coasters from scraps, paint my nails, sketch my favourite character etc. Every fifth goal I spend a bit of money on myself. Today I wrote up notes on a scene and my tiny reward is to light a scented candle. I have a few untouched from christmas.
Thanks for reading, I feel the edges of a migraine coming on so I apologise if this post was a little incoherent.
Today I wrote 265 words
I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.Maya Angelou