And Breathe

I’ve given myself a bit of a breather for the past couple of days. It’s been exhausting trying to get my novel ready to be sent away for a competition. There is just not enough time. I’m proud of the revision I’ve done. The first 4000 words are more or less cohesive.

My original aim was to send a piece of writing off a month. I have succeeded in that goal by sending two flash fiction stories this month.

I have another chance at the end of July with the Cinnamon Press Novel Prize. In the meantime, I will go back to writing a scene per day and working on other fun short stories.

Today’s Word Count: 300

 

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words words words words words….

At this point, I am fairly certain I will not manage to get my first 15,000 words off by the end of the month. I’ve been revising scenes since around 3.30 this afternoon and completed two scenes. On any ordinary day, this would be fantastic, but I am  still only on 3897 fully revised words. I’ve managed to smash together my very early drafts and later revisions to get a nicely rounded introduction. It’s turning out pretty well but there just isn’t enough time to thread together all the scenes.

To complete the required amount I will now have to revise 2200 words per day. I will be working two out of the five days.

Today’s total word count: 3126

Today’s revised word count: 873

Another Scene Done

Both today and yesterday I managed to write a scene. It’s nice to know I can actually sit down and write, of a day. However, I still need to get 12,000 more words revised by the end of the month, including the final draft of my synopsis. In order to get this draft finished, I will need to write 2000 words every day.

Do-able but not likely

wish me luck x

Today’s Word count: 703

Positive Coping Mechanisms Ahoy!

Today feels better than yesterday. I survived social pressures of the dedication service and managed to leave relatively unscathed by well meaning relatives. I find it increasingly difficult to reply to the question how are you. particularly when i am not doing great. I tend to reply with a non-specific, ‘I’m doing ok thanks.’

It’s not a lie and certainly, or at least not a bit one.  The only problem is, people want more. I’ve got nothing else to give.

Pressure is listing off me slowly. I’m hoping life will return to some semblance of normality soon. I need rest, time and a lot of space.

I’ve been feeling pretty guilty about not working on my novel or going running. I’ve not been eating as much as I should and it’s been effecting my energy levels badly.

I am trying to stop thinking about the things I have not done and focusing on the things I have done. In started with writing a post about all the items of clothing I have made so far. it was a lot of fun. Tomorrow I will write a small to do list. One which I will complete easily.

Today’s word count: 1200

 

Things don’t always feel better in the morning.

 

I’m struggling. with writing, with sewing, with socialising. I’m even finding it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve managed to do bits of writing, but it’s the bare minimum.

I feel sad. A heavy, tiring sadness.  The melancholy is punctuated by moments of happiness. Today I saw my niece who spent the first ten minutes smiling at me and nuzzling my head with hers.

The happiness carried an undertone. We were spending the afternoon making decorations for my niece’s dedication on Sunday.  I’m feeling pretty stressed about the day.  I am going to the ceremony, and staying for tea and cakes afterwards.  This will be a stressful event as there will be a lot of people there, most of whom I don’t know.

My sister invited me to a big family meal afterwards.  There will be at least thirty people there, though I have been able to go out for food with friends, a big occasion with so many people and an unfamiliar restaurant will just be too much. I had to say no for my mental health.

It’s really really difficult making these kinds of decisions. I know my sister is disappointed. I’m trying very hard not to feel too bad about myself. The guilt is pretty overwhelming.

That day is also the only time I can see my father-in-law, for his birthday, before he goes on holiday.  I know the morning will be difficult and tiring. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to make it out the house again to see him. I feel like I’ll be betraying my sister if I do anything at all. guilt piled on guilt. I’ve been trying to do couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but couldn’t move from the sofa when I got home.

Guilt piled upon guilt. I’ve been trying to do couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but couldn’t move from the sofa when I got home.

Another small niggle which seems to be triggering my eating disorder issues is skipping out on a run.  I’ve recently felt well enough to start exercising again and have been trying to do Couch to 5k. I had scheduled to go out for a run this evening but, rather fittingly, couldn’t move from the couch when I got home.

So there’s my post. It’s miserable because  I’m miserable. Here’s to a less miserable week.

Today’s word count: 500

A Good Writing Day

All the hard work planning the other day paid off. today I had the house to myself and decided to have a writing day.

I have managed to write three and a half scenes today. 🙂 It feels really  good to have a proper writing day. there’s a vague possibility I will actually get my novel to a satisfactory level to send off at the end of the month. Well, the first 15,000 words anyway.

I think i may well give my brain a break for the rest of the day and do a little bit of simple sewing.

If anyone’s interested, it’s the Yeovil Literary  Prize.

Today’s word count: 2030

 

 

Fun with templates

I’m a big fan of Scrivener, I’ve been using it to write for about a year but only recently discovered how much fun I can have  with templates. If you’ve been following my blog you’ll know I’ve been working on getting my novel ready to be sent off to a couple of competitions at the end of the month.

I’ve got my synopsis somewhere close to where I want it and now I’m working on the first 10,000/15,000 words of the novel. I very much like all the words in my first few chapters, however not all of them are necessary or particularly relevant. Luckily for me, Lady Writer has provided a scrivener template which I can follow. I’ve written a short sentence for each chapter and I feel like I need to get to the action a bit sooner.  I never thought I would be excited to cut words but I’m a sucker for a good plan.

You guys should definitely check out this yummy spreadsheet.

Today’s word count: around 300